The Parent’s Guide to Back to School Shots: How to Ease the Fear of Vaccinations (Even If Your Kid Is Scared of Needles) with Dr. Jody Thomas
Let’s talk about one of the most emotionally charged parenting moments of the year: back to school shots.
The appointments sneak up on you, the nurse says “vaccines today,” and your kid’s eyes widen. You feel that familiar pit in your stomach, already bracing for tears - or a full-blown meltdown.
If your child is scared of needles, this isn’t just a five-minute inconvenience. It’s a trauma trigger, a stress test, and a guilt-ridden experience all in one.
And if you're like me (hi, Dr. Leah here), you’ve probably wondered: Why is no one teaching parents how to actually make this easier?
Well, that ends today.
In this episode of The Educated Parent, I sat down with pediatric pain expert Dr. Jody Thomas, founder of the Meg Foundation, to share science-backed strategies for reducing the fear of vaccinations - and yes, real ways to learn how to make shots not hurt at all.
Why Addressing the Fear of Vaccinations Matters More Than You Think
Most of us were raised to see shots as something to “suck up and get over.” But research tells a different story:
63% of kids and 25% of adults have clinically significant needle anxiety.
Needle fear leads to missed medical care and vaccine hesitancy.
Unaddressed distress during childhood vaccines can affect lifelong health behavior.
In other words, the fear of vaccinations is not “just a phase.” It’s a serious issue - and one that’s totally solvable with the right tools.
Step 1: Make a “Poke Plan”
This is your secret weapon. A “poke plan” is a simple but powerful strategy that walks you and your child through exactly how you’ll handle the appointment.
It includes:
What tools you'll bring (like numbing cream or a vibrating buzzy bee)
How you’ll sit together (hint: cuddles, not pinning them down)
What they’ll watch or hold for comfort
What words you’ll say before and after
Dr. Thomas shared that when kids know what to expect and have a role in the plan, their stress plummets. It’s the first - and maybe most important - step to easing the fear of vaccinations.
Step 2: Learn How to Make Shots Not Hurt at All (Yes, Really)
Okay, let’s say it louder for the parents in the back:
You can teach your child how to make shots not hurt at all.
We’re not talking about magic. We’re talking about proven, underused strategies like:
Numbing cream (Lidocaine, over-the-counter, $15 at Walgreens)
Vibration tools that distract the brain from pain signals
Distraction that actually works (like screen time with intention)
Choice - because feeling in control reduces distress
When your child walks into the clinic knowing they have options, their brain shifts from helpless to empowered. And that changes everything about the experience.
Step 3: Don’t Let Them Be Held Down
This one is big. Holding a child down during a shot isn’t just distressing - it’s traumatic.
Instead, use “comfort positioning,” a simple physical strategy that lets you hold your child in a calming way (usually on your lap, in a hug) while keeping them safe and still.
This:
Calms their nervous system
Strengthens the parent-child bond
Reduces long-term fear of vaccinations
Makes the provider’s job easier
And yes, even older kids benefit from this kind of connection. The science is clear: scared of needles doesn't have to mean chaos at the doctor’s office.
Step 4: Use Your Voice to Advocate
You might feel silly bringing in numbing cream. Or asking the nurse to give you a minute. Or explaining to your child’s doctor that they’re scared of needles and you have a plan.
Do it anyway.
Because most medical professionals haven’t been trained in pediatric pain. And many still don’t know these techniques exist.
But you are the expert in your child. And when you advocate for a better, calmer, less painful approach to back to school shots, everyone benefits - including the provider.
So speak up. Be clear. Show them your poke plan. You’re not being “extra” - you’re being effective.
Step 5: Reframe the Experience After It’s Over
What you say after the shot can influence how your child remembers it. Praise their bravery, highlight what worked (“The numbing cream really helped, didn’t it?”), and invite them to reflect on what would make it even easier next time.
This is how we turn back to school shots from a trauma trigger into a moment of empowerment.
One Last Thing: If You’re an Adult Who’s Still Scared of Needles - You’re Not Alone
I confessed in this episode that I used to have a debilitating fear myself. And it wasn’t until I had kids - and had to get stuck with needles regularly during pregnancy - that my brain finally adjusted.
But you don’t have to go through pregnancy to heal this.
You can use these same strategies. Use the numbing cream. Watch a video while you get your shot. Tell the nurse you’re anxious. Teach your nervous system that it’s safe now.
Because learning how to make shots not hurt at all isn't just for kids. It's for us too.
You Deserve a Better Experience with Back to School Shots
Parenting is hard enough. Let’s not make back to school shots another traumatic chapter in your story - or your child’s.
When we address the fear of vaccinations with preparation, compassion, and science, we teach our kids (and ourselves) that we can handle hard things with grace.
And yes, we can even teach our kids how to make shots not hurt at all.
Want the full strategy (plus personal stories and resources)?
Listen to this week’s episode of the Educated Parent with Dr. Jody Thomas. I promise it will shift how you think about shots forever.
Resources mentioned in this episode:
Let’s connect:
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Connect with Dr. Jody Thomas & Meg Foundation for Pain:
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[00:00:00] Leah Clionsky: Welcome to the Educated Parent Podcast. I am your host, Dr. Leah Clionsky, and I am so excited about this episode, and I know that you will be as well because you're about to go back to school and take your child to the pediatrician for those vaccinations. And I have an expert here who's going to help us figure out how to make them almost painless for everyone involved, your child and you.
[00:00:27] Leah Clionsky: You are listening to the Educated Parent the parenting podcast, where I teach you realistic expert parenting hacks to solve your everyday parenting problems. So that you can reduce your stress, build your confidence as a parent, and raise thriving children. My name is Dr. Leah Clionsky and I'm a licensed clinical psychologist, owner of Thriving Child Center and PCIT experts, child psychology practices, and a real life parent of two young children.
[00:00:57] Leah Clionsky: I am the same as you. I am invested in being the best parent possible in raising thriving children. I also get overwhelmed. I make mistakes and I forget what works. I do have three unique parenting advantages that you may not have a PhD in. Child clinical psychology. Over 15 years of clinical experience working with families and a network of other experts that I can text for parenting advice.
[00:01:22] Leah Clionsky: Whenever I'm lost. I'm here to bring my expertise. And my expert network to you so that we can solve your everyday parenting dilemmas together. I am so glad you're here. I'm so excited to introduce Dr. Jody Thomas. Dr. Thomas is a licensed clinical health psychologist and specialist in pediatric mental illness and trauma.
[00:01:46] Leah Clionsky: She is an internationally known expert in pediatric pain. A sought after speaker and writer and a trained medical professionals around the world. As the founder and CEO of the nonprofit Meg Foundation, she leads a team of world experts in pain technology and design on their mission to empower kids and families.
[00:02:08] Leah Clionsky: To manage pain and medical anxiety. As a healthcare consultant, she helps organizations improve their patient care and outcomes for both patients and providers. Before starting the foundation, she was an assistant professor at the Stanford University School of Medicine and the founding clinical director of the Packard Pediatric Pain Rehabilitation Center at Stanford.
[00:02:30] Leah Clionsky: So welcome so much to the show, Dr. Thomas. Thank you so much. I'm so excited to be here. I am so excited for you to be here because I want you to solve this problem for me. I hate, hate
[00:02:41] Jody Thomas: taking my kids to get shots. Well, you are most definitely not alone, and it is such a common problem, and the great news is it's a very solvable problem.
[00:02:50] Leah Clionsky: Yeah. Why does no one tell us that this
[00:02:51] Jody Thomas: problem is so solvable? You know, that is an excellent question that I've pondered, uh, for years, honestly. But really, when it comes down to it, we've come to the point in our society that we see it as sort of a necessary evil as opposed to a solvable problem. It's what parents dealt with when they were kids.
[00:03:10] Jody Thomas: Providers see it as sort of a necessary evil, which is bizarre because it's truly in contrast to decades and decades of research that tell us there are simple effective intervention. That can really, really help both the short term suffering and freak out and the long term consequences.
[00:03:25] Leah Clionsky: Wow. So there are strategies that could have prevented me from being in pain as a child and could now prevent my children from being in pain.
[00:03:32] Leah Clionsky: It was unnecessary. Yes, absolutely.
[00:03:35] Jody Thomas: Oh wow. That's kind of sad. I know in some level it's, you're like, wait, what? So I mean, honestly, we get, when I talk to people, especially adults, I actually, there's a lot of tears that come out because this is such a common issue. 63% of kids, 50% of adolescents and teenagers.
[00:03:51] Jody Thomas: And then one in four adults has enough needle anxiety to change their healthcare decisions. So we often think of this as something that we're going through alone, but the numbers are truly staggering, and I love being able to bring solutions to people about this problem.
[00:04:06] Leah Clionsky: Yeah, I think people just see it as like, it's not that big a deal.
[00:04:10] Leah Clionsky: Just hold them down, get it over with, but then it leads to these huge healthcare outcome problems later on if you're too afraid to get a shot.
[00:04:18] Jody Thomas: Yeah, absolutely. So it's really, as we like to say, not just about a rough five minutes. It's about everything that happens later, right? Mm-hmm. This is where, you know, we all have that adult relative in our life that we think about, that we're worried about Uncle Bob because he won't go to the doctor and get that thing checked out, and that's because of this trauma, and it truly is trauma that happened likely when he was four years old.
[00:04:42] Jody Thomas: And we know that it really changes kids' relationship with healthcare. It makes. Parents make different decisions about things like vaccines and preventative care because they just don't wanna deal with the freakout around needles and shots.
[00:04:55] Leah Clionsky: Yeah, yeah. No, I totally understand that. I was sharing with you when we were doing our pre-conversation before this episode that I actually had a debilitating needle phobia.
[00:05:05] Leah Clionsky: Yeah. Like all the way through my entire life until I got pregnant with my daughter and basically had to get stuck with enough needles. That it stopped being a big deal to me, but it made it hard to like get a flu shot. It made it really anxiety provoking to book a doctor's appointment. Interfered a lot in ways that made my
[00:05:23] Jody Thomas: life hard.
[00:05:25] Jody Thomas: Yeah, and you are most definitely not alone. The data would tell us that that is more common than we even think. And the implications both on the individual's health, like you not getting things and getting sick, maybe don't need to, not following up on things that need to get checked out, but also on public health and our ability to kind of work on things like herd.
[00:05:45] Jody Thomas: Humidity and access to healthcare. So the implications are much more about a few hard minutes at the doctor's office, let alone our stress as parents and wanting to do the best for our kids, but also having then to weigh like, do I deal with the freak out or do I get the care that my doctor's recommending?
[00:06:02] Leah Clionsky: Absolutely. And it plays out too as a parent is. So if you have some needle phobia, bringing your child to get vaccines is extra stressful. 'cause you are having to deal with your own phobia around the needles. Yes. And to deal with your child. And frankly, it's my least one of my least favorite parts of parenting is going to get the vaccines in general.
[00:06:23] Leah Clionsky: And I think most parents feel that way. It's just being so miserable to do something that you know is good for your child, but hurts them.
[00:06:30] Jody Thomas: Absolutely. And our kids pick up on that. Of course, we're in those good, healthy relationships. We're connected. They pick up our own anxiety. It's one of the biggest predictors we know.
[00:06:39] Jody Thomas: The biggest predictor of a child's distress during, uh, medical procedure is the parent's distress. And we don't mean that as a blame. It's not your fault. It's absolutely not. Because while stress is contagious, so is calm, and when we can go in with a game plan about how we wanna manage and handle, and we're empowering our kids with that, then we completely change the dynamic, not only for our kiddo, but also for ourselves.
[00:07:03] Jody Thomas: So to say, no one's gonna love going, getting a poke. Everyone's like, let's don't like it. I'm like, who does? That's not the point. It's the point to make it no big deal. As opposed to a major thing,
[00:07:12] Leah Clionsky: you know, I know you are a parent and we're an educated parent. How has this played out in your help with vaccines for your own kids?
[00:07:21] Leah Clionsky: Like are they afraid
[00:07:21] Jody Thomas: of shots? Funny story, so of course they had me as a mom, and I've been doing this in these strategies from literally one of my kids was in the NICU and we started using pain management strategies when she was getting procedures at days old, born at 33 weeks, and that same 3-year-old who would be at really high risk for needle anxiety and stress in medical stress.
[00:07:41] Jody Thomas: Because of that early intervention, she, I'll never forget her coming home from kindergarten one day and saying, did you know that some kids really hate going to the doctor? She was so stunned by this. She was like, why don't they just use the strategies? Why would they not do that? Like it was literally surprising to her that kids were afraid of going to the doctor.
[00:08:02] Jody Thomas: He's like, the doctor right is there to help me. Why would I not do that? And so it's really changed their relationship with healthcare and getting pokes and you know, I have two kids who also have chronic illness and so establishing that really good relationship. With healthcare, knowing that they're there to be their champion and to support and support their health, we really don't want anything interrupting that relationship.
[00:08:24] Leah Clionsky: Mm. The fact that they're not afraid to go to the doctor, that they see the doctor as a helpful person. Mm-hmm. And that the needle pokes themselves are not like literally traumatic at different times for them. Yeah. It just makes the entire process a lot easier and probably easier on you as
[00:08:40] Jody Thomas: well when you're taking them a million times over.
[00:08:43] Jody Thomas: Right. And I, again, but I relate to that, right? It's anxiety preaching, like, oh, we need a blood test this time. Uh, we've never done this before. What do we do? But also going and being like, cool, this is what we do. This is the plan. This is the plan that I'm clear on. This is the plan that I know how to communicate with the provider on, and that my child is prepared on.
[00:09:02] Jody Thomas: So they get to manage their anxiety about the experience as well.
[00:09:06] Leah Clionsky: I know in a minute we're gonna start talking about the magic strategies that we've now been suggesting. Oh, you can make this better. And we haven't Oh, yes. Told you how, but I'm curious, you know, anytime you have to do a strategy. With a child in a setting, and that's not like the norm, right?
[00:09:23] Leah Clionsky: Like, like not everyone is walking into their pediatrician with strategies for handling pokes. Do you ever get pushback from medical providers who are well intentioned about the strategies? Do they think you're being like over coddling or ridiculous?
[00:09:39] Jody Thomas: Yes. I mean, the answer to that is really yes. And when we are training parents, when we're talking to parents, it's one of the most important things we can say is like, look, you are likely to get some pushback on this, and it's because we just simply aren't educating medical providers in this stuff.
[00:09:54] Jody Thomas: At all over the course of their training. Most medical doctors, let alone sort of our nursing and and techs who are doing pokes, they only get seven to 10 hours of education on pain over their entire course of training, which is mind blowing. And to put it in context, like vets get like 150 hours Okay.
[00:10:13] Jody Thomas: And right nuts and. They're not really educated on these things. And so it's a lack of knowledge and experience on their parks. Again, they have to learn a lot of stuff again, and this is not any sort of not good bounce middle predators who we love and always wanna support, and so we spend time educating 'cause it's not fun for them either.
[00:10:29] Jody Thomas: They didn't get into this business to make kids cry, right? This is the hardest part of their day and so we wanna make this better for everyone involved. The providers, the parents, and the kids. But you are gonna have to use your voice. And that can feel very intimidating to people to say, Hey, actually we're not gonna hold my kid down.
[00:10:45] Jody Thomas: We're gonna do this. Actually, I brought numbing cream. We're gonna put it on their leg. Actually, I need you to sit here and give us a second so we can get the vibrating buzzy bee on their arms so it doesn't bother them. But we have to remember as parents that we all have the same goal that their kid has as good of experience as possible at the doctor.
[00:11:01] Jody Thomas: The doctor wants that, and you want that, and the kid wants that. And so when we connect to that and say, Hey, we have some ways to do this. This is gonna make this go better and faster. That tends to get around to those questions. And often you'll find when you do successfully do this, providers are blown away and you're like, oh my gosh, how did you do that?
[00:11:18] Jody Thomas: Where did you get that? How did you know how to do this? And that's actually the MEG Foundation. How a lot of our stuff ends up in hands is that we have parents go in, use these strategies, tell providers about the foundation, and then they're like, great, we want these resources for all of our patients.
[00:11:32] Leah Clionsky: Yeah. 'cause no, I don't think anyone's enjoying the no painful experience.
[00:11:37] Jody Thomas: No. Like it works for no one. I mean, that's what we love about these solutions is it works for everyone involved. Like this goes better, faster, calmer. Great. That's what everybody wants. So it's physically painful if you get kicked by a child who is Yeah.
[00:11:49] Jody Thomas: Well, and they're like, what are we gonna do? Right? And how do we refuse this? We don't wanna hold down kids. We don't wanna do these things. Like, this isn't fun for anyone.
[00:11:58] Leah Clionsky: Alright, so now, now you have to tell them what is your first strategy for making this less painful
[00:12:03] Jody Thomas: or painless? Almost. The first thing we really, uh, talk about is the power of a plan.
[00:12:08] Jody Thomas: Okay. We're, and we're doing anything hard. It always helps to go in with the game plan for both you and your kiddo. So as we like to say, action is the enemy of anxiety. So when there's things we can do to cope, we're. All gonna feel better. So that's what a lot of our tools that we build out foundation are based on the research and what we do, which is having we call a poke plan or a comfort plan.
[00:12:31] Jody Thomas: What are we gonna actually do and what strategies? So this allows you as a parent to do, ideally with your kid. And we have versions for younger kids who can participate in that process. And by the way, there's also strategies for infants and babies. That's a kind of a whole nother conversation, but they're also simple and effective.
[00:12:45] Jody Thomas: And also plans for teenagers. 'cause remember, every time we give them choice, choice is power. And we feel better when we feel powerful and in control. And that's the ultimate goal of all this, is having you and your kid walk in feeling powerful and in. Because when we feel vulnerable and helpless, that is the recipe for trauma.
[00:13:03] Jody Thomas: So in this poke plan, you make different choices about how do we wanna sit? What's our positioning? Do we wanna use things like numbing cream, which is simple and effective and easy to get over the counter? Do we wanna use vibration to help interrupt those pain signals? Do we wanna use distraction? How do we wanna use that distraction?
[00:13:20] Jody Thomas: What movie do we wanna watch? How do we wanna do this? And we go on that precise plan. Then we have a way to cope. A lot of parents will very well intentioned, but really not turn out well is to not tell a kid that they're getting a shot until right before, like we pull into the parking lot at the pediatrician.
[00:13:38] Jody Thomas: We're like, Hey, by the way, you're getting a shot. Right? And what we do, and the goal, their goal of course is to like, well, I don't my kid to freak out before. Which I understand, but what we're really doing is depriving them of an opportunity to cope. Tell parents, you know, if you think about the biggest work meeting you've ever had in your life, but what if no one told you until two minutes before?
[00:13:56] Jody Thomas: So we're sort of setting them up to inadvertently setting them up to fail. But when we're going over a plan a couple days before, and then when their anxiety starts rising about it, say, but I don't wanna get a poke. I'm scared. Be like. That's a normal feeling. But remember we put together this great plan so you get to feel more comfortable and in control and we know how we're gonna cope with it.
[00:14:16] Jody Thomas: So it goes quickly and easily and you get to feel better when we go get to get the magic medicine. That helps you keep healthy and strong.
[00:14:23] Leah Clionsky: So you're encouraging. Have a plan in advance and identify. Specific pain management strategies, and it sounds like there actually are pain management strategies. Yes.
[00:14:34] Leah Clionsky: This is the part that nobody tells parents, like, did you know you can make it hurt less? Can you very briefly just mention a couple of Yes. The pain management strategies. That absolutely. You have at the
[00:14:45] Jody Thomas: ME Foundation? Yes. So our comfort plans go through all the different choices and sort of the research and also do handy things like hook to videos, explaining how to use numbing cream and how to use sort of vibration and how to do that.
[00:14:58] Jody Thomas: But. Numbing cream is the one that blows my mind the most. 'cause it's readily available. It is one of the number one recommendations for best practices. So everything that we talk about is in line with the best practice recommendations of the World Health Organization and the CDC and the American Academy of Pediatrics and every other major organ in the world.
[00:15:18] Jody Thomas: It just doesn't happen. So we as parents have to be the ones that make it happen. But yeah, you can absolutely. Order for 15 bucks on Amazon numbing cream. You can go into Walgreens and do this. You put it on the skin and it works not only in that, it actually does make it less painful, but even more importantly, it decreases our anxiety going in when a kid goes in knowing I've got my numbing cream on, I know it doesn't have to hurt.
[00:15:43] Jody Thomas: And that also signals to them that both the parent and provider understand and are being like, I know this can be tough. We're gonna do everything we can to make it easier. That makes us feel better. Right. Right. Your allies
[00:15:56] Leah Clionsky: instead
[00:15:56] Jody Thomas: of enemies.
[00:15:57] Leah Clionsky: Yes. We are. On your side. We validate that this pain is not fun for you.
[00:16:02] Leah Clionsky: Yeah. And
[00:16:03] Jody Thomas: that it's, it's distressing. Right. And even we don't talk about it as pain as much as it's bother. Right. Because pain needles are a great example of the fact that a needle going into your arm from a tissue damage perspective isn't really. Painful from like a signaling, but it bothers us a lot and being able to acknowledge that that pain is a psychological experience, a physical experience, and a social experience.
[00:16:25] Jody Thomas: And when people around us appear to be validating and understanding and supportive, we feel better. And that is one, and particularly as kids get older, their biggest fear is the shame. I don't want to, 'cause, I don't wanna be told I'm too big for this, I just have to suck it up. Why am I not being more brave?
[00:16:40] Jody Thomas: Any of that. You're like, yeah, this is tough. Good news. We have all these different ways to make it better, and this is how we're gonna support you so we can get this done. And you can feel comfortable and in control. That is such a huge message.
[00:16:52] Leah Clionsky: Yeah. Also, if you're an adult with needle phobia mm-hmm. You can use this stuff on yourself.
[00:16:56] Leah Clionsky: Yes you can. You
[00:16:58] Jody Thomas: no, and there's one, and you're, and know you're not alone. One in four adults are struggling with this, so you are not by yourself. We just don't talk about it enough. And so when we use those things, so like distraction being our most powerful, because we have it with us all the time. Every single parent knows what it's like to try to get their kids' attention when they're totally into a video or a video game or something like that.
[00:17:20] Jody Thomas: We could have a brass band walk in the room and they don't notice. And when we can harness that power and with intention, we truly are asking them to pay attention to something else. And as I tell kids, we actually turn off parts of our body all the time. And we know that in the power of the science of distraction, like every parent knows at the end of the day, their kid has a bruise that they don't know where it came from, right?
[00:17:42] Jody Thomas: So something over the course, they hit them so hard, it created a bruise and they didn't even notice. And why didn't they notice? 'cause they were focusing so hard on something else that their brain didn't even register it. That is one of the most powerful, lease is not the time to be limiting. That phone or iPad or that video, that is a great time to be sitting there and letting them, yes, we can watch it in the car on the way.
[00:18:03] Jody Thomas: Yes, we can watch it in the waiting room and yes, we can watch it while you're getting your poke and you get to focus on that. And it literally changes the way we process our pain signals. All right. So strategy
[00:18:14] Leah Clionsky: number one, create a pain plan, a poke plan that has actual pain management strategies in it.
[00:18:19] Leah Clionsky: You can download that from the MEG Foundation. Yes. Step two, what's the second thing we can do as
[00:18:25] Jody Thomas: parents? So the second thing we really wanna do is really lean in, like I said, to that power of distraction and the big other thing. So on that plan, really making sure, so it's not in like, Hey, we're gonna do this, but we actually have a specific plan too.
[00:18:39] Jody Thomas: And then the next thing we're really gonna focus on, because it happens all the time when you talk about the advocacy, is don't let your kid be held down for this. Okay? Okay. It is a recipe for medical trauma. All the research would tell us that if we're hold down, particularly on their backs, we are creating this really negative association.
[00:18:57] Jody Thomas: Instead, we want to use the very important strategy of comfort positioning. There is a way to be able to hold kids and have them be safe and still for a poke and not be held down. Okay? And we have guides on our site along with videos that explain how it's done, but we have all sorts of different ways to do that.
[00:19:17] Jody Thomas: And you know the difference between, hey, if you can't sit still, I'm gonna hold you down versus, Hey buddy, I'm gonna have you sit here, straddle my on me on my lap, give me a hug and I'm gonna hug you. Because that physical closeness, that same sort of beautiful release of chemicals in our bodies that we remember from breastfeeding or going skin to skin when an infant that doesn't go away, right?
[00:19:40] Jody Thomas: This power of a hug. And when we can mirror our own calm breathing and our own calm self and we say to them, Hey buddy, I'm gonna go and you're gonna hug me and I'm gonna hug you and I'm going to use my arm to help keep your arm still so we can be done faster. It's very different than I'm gonna hold you down if you can't see it still.
[00:19:58] Leah Clionsky: Yeah. Even you saying it out loud, one makes me kind of anxious.
[00:20:01] Jody Thomas: Yes. Right? You're like, you don't do this, I'm gonna have to hold you down. It's like, huh. And remember, more stress is more pain forever. Like that will always be true that our pain receptors go up, that we experience it more differently. Like I always tell people, if you stub your toe when you're in a bad mood, it hurts worse than you stub your toe when you're in a good mood.
[00:20:21] Jody Thomas: Mm-hmm. And when more, it is all about keeping kids. Calm and keeping them comfortable. And when we can sit here and have a big hug and what the part of the pushback, by the way you'll get from medical providers, is you don't want them to associate you as a parent with pain. And this is their justification for holding down babies for shots, which is the worst idea.
[00:20:40] Jody Thomas: We should be skin to skin or cuddling infants for poke. Anyone who thinks that that is gonna associate a parent with pain is deeply underestimating the deep, primal nature of attachment between children and caregivers. Okay? They are not, but what they are gonna do is that your comfort, your physical presence, your ability to model that deep breath and breathing, and to sit there and rock and whisper in their ear and be reassuring, that is game changing.
[00:21:10] Jody Thomas: And that does not expire, by the way. We will do that same sort of intervention. With 12 year olds, 13 year olds, okay. They can still benefit. The power of touch does not expire. And so as kids get older, that power of touch and comfort in helping them keep their own body still just never let your kid be held down.
[00:21:30] Leah Clionsky: You know, that makes so much sense to me because when your child falls and they scrape their knee or they fall and they hit their head, you immediately hold them right. Like, and that decreases, like you hold them first, and then once they calm down a little, then you're adding the ice pack, then you're cleaning the wound, whatever it is.
[00:21:48] Leah Clionsky: But your first thing you're doing is you're regulating them against your body. It's an automatic. Instinct as a parent to hold your child close to you. And it makes sense to me that that would also, like in this shot pain be the same thing.
[00:22:01] Jody Thomas: Exactly. And that's what we really wanna empower people to do.
[00:22:04] Jody Thomas: 'cause you parents are the really, I guess the last really big piece of advice is knowing that you are gonna have to use your voice and ask and tell people what's gonna help your kiddo. And that, I always tell parents, look, medical providers are the experts in medicine, but you are the expert in your kid.
[00:22:19] Jody Thomas: And I want you to feel empowered to use your instincts and know it works for your kiddo. And feel free to say that. 'cause you're right. It is the most primal thing. That is what we do instinctively, and we don't wanna take away that instinct within the context of like a medical appointment.
[00:22:33] Leah Clionsky: So your strategies are, number one, make a plan that involves pain tolerance strategies, including distraction.
[00:22:41] Leah Clionsky: Mm-hmm. Your second strategy is to do a safe hold with your child and you can look up exactly how to do those sorts of holds through the MEG Foundation so that it's also a hug. So you're really making them feel safe and close to you and reducing their pain experience. Mm-hmm. And the third strategy is using your voice and advocating.
[00:22:59] Leah Clionsky: Because at this point, at that point, you're actually maybe better educated than the nurse who's about to give the vaccination.
[00:23:05] Jody Thomas: You really likely are, and again, we love our providers, but a lot of them simply aren't trained in this. And so we want you going in knowing that you might have to provide that education to them.
[00:23:15] Jody Thomas: And the last sort of piece of advice I would say is that after it is over, no matter how well or not well it went, is to praise them. You know, what we say right after a procedure impacts the way a child's memory is of that and predicts their pain experiences going forward. So whether that is, it went completely smoothly and everything was great then.
[00:23:35] Jody Thomas: Wonderful. Oh my gosh. What worked to help? I noticed that you really liked the numbing cream and that buzzy bee was really useful and that Oh, having your stuffy there was great. Even if it went not, and it was really distress, you're like, you were just. So brave to let us sit there and help you get the poke, even though you were scared.
[00:23:51] Jody Thomas: That was fantastic. What do you think we could do even better next time to make it even easier and even better? So our language and what we do right after to highlight is amazingly powerful for reframing that moment, but also. Impacts the next time you're gonna walk into that room.
[00:24:08] Leah Clionsky: Wow. That is such a powerful last strategy.
[00:24:11] Leah Clionsky: I think that is amazing. I'm so glad you made that suggestion. So how can people find all of these things? I know we're gonna put a link to the MEG Foundation
[00:24:20] Jody Thomas: in our show notes. So again, to recap everything we do and say, the Meg Foundation is open source and freely available. We're not selling anything.
[00:24:27] Jody Thomas: We are here to help and support parents and providers. So you can found us at Meg Foundation for pain.org. We are also on TikTok and Instagram and Pinterest and LinkedIn. We also encourage people to sign up for a newsletter, 'cause then we just send out new resources as they come out and are useful and helpful.
[00:24:46] Leah Clionsky: I am so glad you came. I'm going to use every single one of these strategies.
[00:24:50] Jody Thomas: Thank you so much for having me. We're really excited and I hope your audience gets a lot of it.
[00:24:56] Leah Clionsky: Me too. I hope you use these strategies too, and I hope that everyone has a less painful experience getting your vaccines for the school year.
[00:25:04] Leah Clionsky: Have a wonderful week. I'll talk to you next time. Thanks again for spending time with me on Educated Parent, if this episode helped you feel more confident in handling those parenting curve balls. Hit follow. So you never miss an episode. Know a parent who's stuck in the endless cycle of conflicting advice.
[00:25:24] Leah Clionsky: Send this their way because we all deserve parenting strategies we can actually trust. And hey, if you have a minute, leave a review. Your support helps other parents find real expert back solutions instead of just another opinion online. One last quick reminder. This podcast offers general advice, but every family is different.
[00:25:46] Leah Clionsky: The advice offered in this podcast is not medical advice and is not appropriate for every family. If you need personalized parenting support, connect with an experienced clinician at Thriving Child Center or PCIT experts. That's it for today. Thanks for listening, and I'll talk to you next time.